Recalled Brake Cleaner

In 2004, the US Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a recall of certain 13-ounce cans of brake cleaner (Release # 05-037). The hazard? "The affected aerosol cans contain a defective spray valve that might stick when depressed, possibly emptying the can's flammable contents."

Okay, the cleaner was not recalled because it's flammable; it was recalled because the button might stick when you push it and the stuff inside might spray out. Isn't that what it's supposed to do? Isn't that why you pushed the button in the first place?

Just to put this hazard in perspective, out of 2.8 MILLION cans, there were NINE complaints about the valve sticking. One person managed to spray it in his eye. Gee, you think maybe he pointed it at his own eye? Maybe aerosol cans should have a mandated warning label: DO NOT SPRAY IN YOUR EYES. Nah. Probably wouldn't help.

No Ball in the Street

St. Anthony, Idaho has an ordinance (10.28.010) against playing ball in the street. The actual wording is, "It is unlawful for any person to play ball or throw any ball to and/or from any public thoroughfare in the city."

This is the sort of ordinance that lends itself to all kinds of silly interpretations. Some people might say that if you find a ball in the street in St. Anthony, it is illegal to throw it back into your yard. That may be what the words technically mean, but it is certainly not the intent. The language sounds silly enough as is, so why use a stretched interpretation?

Alcohol Sales - As Silly as it Looks?

In Massachusetts, § 138:33 of the General Code prohibits the sale of alcohol on Sunday mornings, election days, and a few other specific days. I understand Christmas Day being included. I do not understand the rationale behind "or on the day following when Christmas occurs on a Sunday."

If Christmas is on a Sunday, why should anyone care about alcohol sales on the next day?

Improper Disposal of Human Waste

In Oregon, there is a crime called "Improper disposal of human waste." (Or. Stat. § 811.172) It is a crime if someone operating or riding in a motor vehicle "throws, puts or otherwise leaves a container of urine or other human waste on or beside the highway."

So if you are driving through Oregon and your little one has to go, make sure that you do not leave the cup he used. I suppose someone was too offended by all this to just call it littering. After all, there is a maximum fine of $250 for violating this law.

Milk Quality?

Ansonia, Connecticut, has an ordinance (15-7) which states that, "All milk, cream, skim milk or buttermilk produced, sold or offered for sale in the city shall be of the standard quality prescribed by the general statutes and the rules and regulations of the milk regulation board of this state and the provisions of this chapter."

So, did Ansonia have a problem with dairies dumping low-quality milk in their town? The ordinance is from 1928, so I'd like to think that it is no longer an issue . . .

Minor Standards of Behavior

In Kuna, Idaho, it is unlawful for anyone under age 18 to, among other things, willfully associate "with thieves, or vicious or immoral persons, or [use] vile, obscene, vulgar or indecent language, or [be] guilty of immoral conduct in any public place." (Kuna Ordinances 10-2-2)

You can be penalized with 30 days in jail and $100 fine for using indecent language in Kuna, but only if you are under 18. Can's you picture the conversation when a police officer stops a young person? "Cussing, huh? Let me see your license." Examines driver license. "Okay, you're old enough to use that kind of language."

No Free Food

In Atchison, Kansas, Section 3-5 of the Municipal Code prohibits the distribution of free samples of food or drugs. Finally! We have proof of the old saying, "there's no free lunch."

Actually, this ordinance further prohibits distribution of "any sample of merchandise whatsoever, capable or possible of being taken or eaten or swallowed by any person whereby sickness or death might ensue." So in Atchison, there's no keychains, baby flashlights, or other small freebies?

Skateboards

Hemet, California, has a couple of interesting skateboard regulations (Sections 53-16, 53-17). First, the definition of a skateboard includes: "skateboards, roller skates, inline skates, rollerblades, coasters, scooters, and toy vehicles." Remember, this is the law. Common sense need not be applicable. Why didn't they just say the law applies to roller skates, etc., rather than come up with a foolish definition?

Then, if you ride your skateboard in the street or on the sidewalk, you must yield the right-of-way to "all pedestrians, animals, wheelchairs, and motor vehicles." So, if you are skating down the street and a dog walks out in front of you, you have to get out of the dog's way?

No Hiding in a Restaurant

In Preston, Idaho, a city ordinance (5.28.010) states that restaurant owners "must remove all blinds, screens, booths or other obstructions which would interfere with the free inspection of such establishments by passersby."

Picture yourself and a friend going to a restaurant for lunch. "We'll have a booth, please. Oh, no booths? They're illegal? Okay, then we'll sit by the window. Can you pull the blinds? There's an awful glare over here. No blinds? They're illegal, too?" Is that about the time you decide to go home for lunch?

Keep Those Streets Clean

Vicksburg, Mississippi, has an ordinance that says: "No person shall allow oil or gasoline of any character to be dropped from automobiles, tanks, or other vehicles or sources on any of the streets of the city paved with asphalt or like material." (Code Section 20-30)

Sounds like they are prohibiting my second car from being in their town, and surely "tanks" does not mean the military vehicles with the big guns, right?

Apparently it is okay for your car to spew oil all over a gravel or dirt road, just so long as it is not asphalt or "like material." Speaking of which, does "or like material" mean that this does not apply to concrete or brick streets? And do bridges count?

Keep Drive-Ins Peaceful

Abilene, Texas, has the folowing ordinance:

"Sec. 20-55. Racing motor, blowing horn or causing other disturbance with motor vehicle.
No person on the premises of a drive-in restaurant shall race the motor of any motor vehicle, needlessly bring to a sudden start or stop any motor vehicle, blow any horn of any motor vehicle or cause to be made any other loud or unseemly noise, nuisance or disturbances whereby the quiet and good order of the premises or neighborhood are disturbed.
(Code 1965, § 13-31)"

Please, let's have no unseemly screeching stops that will disturb the quiet and good order at the Sonic.