Gambling and Cattle Don't Mix

In Massachusetts, you may not gamble within twelve hours of holding a cattle show, military muster, or public gathering. This prohibition extends for one mile, and the penalty is a forfeiture of not more than twenty dollars. (Mass. Gen. Laws § 271:6)

Porn Before Your Elders?

In Florida, it is a felony to commit a lewd or lascivious exhibition (such as exposing yourself) in the presence of an elderly person (Fla. Stat. Sec. 825.1025).

Weird Laws: Advertising as a Specialist

In Michigan, it is illegal to advertise that you are a specialist in diseases caused by masturbation. (Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.34)

Dancing in Louisiana?

In Louisiana, state law allows municipalities to place "matrons or policewomen" in dance halls. Why? According to La. Rev. Stat. § 4:361, "These matrons shall see that no lewd, vulgar, or suggestive dances are held, and that the costumes of persons dancing or performing in those places are proper."

As a side note, the law says that any municipality other than New Orleans may do this, and in New Orleans the police department may do this. I'm not sure what that says about city government in New Orleans. Like Fox News, "We report, you decide."

Alabama Massages

In Baldwin County, Alabama, you may not legally sleep in a massage parlor. (Ala. Stat. § 45-2-40.05)

Domino!

In Alabama, you may not play dominoes in a cigar store. (Ala. Code § 34-6-12)

Florida - Which is Worse?

In Florida, according to the statutory sentencing guidelines (Fla. Stat. Sec. 921.0012), having sexual intercourse with someone to whom you are related (level 2) is a more severe crime than bribery (level 1).

Don't Burn Yourself!

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a warning in 2006 (Release #06-012) about the Jack O’ Lantern Bucket Candle Holders. These Halloween decorations are designed to have a tea light burning in them, and they come with seven extra candles. The warning is that people should not burn ALL EIGHT candles at the same time. It gets too hot when you do that, and you could scorch your table or carpet, or get burned.

Why don't we just put a warning label on everything that says "Don't Do Anything Stupid"?????

Dallas Litter Permits

If your dog or cat in Dallas, Texas has a litter, you have to get a litter permit before the birth or within 10 days afterward. The city can impound the dog or cat and the litter if you fail to get the permit. (Ord. No. 2007-12-13-1291)

Oregon Predators

In Oregon, the statutory definition of "predatory animals" includes rabbits. (Or. Rev. Stat. § 610.002) Unless Bunnicula lives in Oregon, I don't know that I ever thought of rabbits as predators.

Anchorage Jails

In Anchorage, Alaska, the kitchen in a jail, school, or hospital is not allowed to serve polar bear livers. (18 AAC 31.010 Order No. 2942)

Illinois Sinkholes

In Illinois, you may not disturb water in a large sinkhole without the expressed written permission of the landowner. (525 ILCS §§ 5/2, 5/6)

Wisconsin Butter (again)

It is illegal for a restaurant in Wisconsin to serve margarine as a butter substitute unless the customer specifically orders it. (Wis. Stat. Sec. 97.18(4)) Of course, this begs the question: What else is margarine served as in a restaurant?

Bingo: Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be

In Calhoun County, Alabama, a bingo parlor may not operate with borrowed equipment. (Ala. Code § 45-8-150.08)

Arkansas Chicks

In Arkansas, a person may not give away baby chicks, rabbits, or ducklings under 2 months old in quantities of fewer than six (6). (Ark. Code § 5-62-121)

Oregon Watches

In Oregon, if you possess a secondhand watch that you plan to sell or trade someday, you have to keep a tag on it that says "secondhand" in English. (Or. Rev. Stat. § 695.220)

Fly a Kite in Dallas

In Dallas, Texas, it is illegal to fly a kite with a metal frame. (Ord. 14971)

Louisiana - Drinking and Driving Don't Mix

In Louisiana, a package liquor store may not sell motor fuel. (La. Rev. Stat. Ann.§ 26:71.2)

Illinois - No Army-Navy Store

In Illinois, a private business selling military surplus may not use the words "Army," "Navy," or "Government" in its name to imply that the products sold are U.S. military surplus. (720 Ill. Comp. Stat. §230/1)

Congressman worried that Guam might capsize

This is not a law, but a US Congressman (Hank Johnson, D Ga.) who asked a stupid question . . This is the article from the LA Times, containing a YouTube video. Pay close attention to the video starting at about 1:15.

In questioning an admiral about the deployment of a few thousand more marines to Guam, this Congressman expressed his concern that the island might tip over and capsize, due to having too many people on the island.

Arkansas Mules at Large

In Arkansas, if you find a mule running at large, you may take him and, if no one claims him within two days, may castrate him. You are entitled to recover three dollars for this service from the owner. (Ark. Code Sec. 2-38-202)

Oregon Hunting

In Oregon, hunting in cemeteries is prohibited. (Or. Rev. Stat.§ 166.645)